Below Deck Recap: Alissa’s Villain Era

Under deck

Caribbean gigolo

Season 10 episode 10

Editor’s Rating 3 Stars ***

Photo: Vulture; Photo: Bravo

When I start the episode with a hungry pregnant woman on the beach, my blood pressure spikes into the next millennium. Can someone get this girl Chex Mix? And why doesn’t Alissa pick up her radio when Rachel calls? We see a side of Alissa that I don’t like!

The thing about reality TV is that almost everyone is a villain. Forget the villain-hero binary; they are all bad. Now that the biggest villain is gone for good, a new matron must emerge, and that matron’s name is Alissa. Alissa realizes that she doesn’t have her cake and can eat it too. She can’t stand “people” (aka a person: Ben) making her feel bad about Camille being locked up. If you’re going to campaign against a colleague, you need to be able to hold your ground. You got exactly what you wanted Alissa! Stop letting Ben get in your head. Also, despite the Alissa Camille beef, Camille was a crappy employee and her firing was justified. Her replacement, Tyler, seems far more capable – and also a key to figuring out who the mystery hot blonde is!

Let’s put on our detective hats: Tyler is the new deck stew, so that must mean Fraser gets booted eventually, right? Who else would she replace? This week’s episode makes me suspicious that Alissa’s attitude is getting so bad that she may also be in the running to be replaced. I still firmly believe Fraser is leaving; After all, he’s the department head and responsible for setting the tone, but I wouldn’t be surprised if Bravo tries to trick us and ousts Alissa instead. This almost makes me want to go back and check out the episode nine preview footage, but…it just occurred to me that it’s not that serious.

on Tyler. He’s big and neat as a pin. Unfortunately, he’s staying with Katie, who’s a mess. Katie is devastated because she wants to take this opportunity to sleep with Ross. Didn’t we learn anything from Below Deck Mediterranean? Dave and Natasha didn’t suffer in vain! Luckily Ross has cold feet and informs Katie that living together as department head and all is strategic for him and Fraser. Whatever helps you sleep at night.

These guests are random and drag the crew in the dirt upon departure, but tip decently, so it’s fine. During the inside team’s post-charter meeting, Alissa storms off crying and claims she’s done. Hayley’s shocked face is pure gold. Fraser has lost all control. I know they were understaffed during that charter, but I’ve seen far more demanding guests with far less help in this franchise, and none of those stews have had failures thereafter. Or if they did, at least they felt more deserved. Those guests were relatively easy, and the interior simply dropped the ball. At this point, Alissa is her own worst enemy, and that’s evident when Camille makes a cameo appearance at dinner. Would I have shown up if I was Camille? Absolutely not. But Camille does a lot of things I wouldn’t do and it fits perfectly when she shows up at the restaurant. Alissa loudly tells Tyler shit about her, informs him of her shooting and weighs the embarrassment of her storming into dinner. She doesn’t allow it. Alissa, I beg you, focus on something else! Just stay in your lane for dinner. After dinner, Ben and Camille whisper sweet things and make out on a curb, and Ben explains that he’s head over heels in love with this girl and gets goosebumps just thinking about her. Cut to: His new romance that will happen in just a few episodes!

Ross is known not to be with Katie at the time, but the two still make time to meet in a guest suite. Right after that, Ross says two of the rudest things I’ve ever heard: “Katie and I definitely had quite a bit of tension that needed to be released,” and that he wants to make out with her six times a day, because “obviously.” he “sex addict”. Alissa informs Tyler that Katie and Ross are a couple, proving that she is actively aware of their situation (we’ll get to that later), while Hayley (me) eats chips in bed.

The next day it’s finally time for our mid-season excursion, and this group gets a boat party followed by mud baths! From a viewer’s perspective, this excursion is long. How are the actors holding up? Katie’s swimsuit and cover-up is quintessential Miami. Rachel explains her back tattoo by saying she loves fish, certain colors, and “Asian,” which is…certainly a choice. Ross confesses to Rachel that he will have to stop drinking soon because he will surely have liver failure… gloomy. His eagerness to get on all fours when Rachel jokes about a golden shower is… revealing. At the mud baths, Alissa and Ross sit on top of each other in a way that makes everyone uncomfortable. It’s obvious by now that Ross is hammered. He is slovenly and rude and can barely stand up straight. He can’t remember what he ordered for dinner and Alissa leaves the table with him while Katie looks on angrily. She tells Ross she thinks she’s hotter than Katie, then tells us in a confessional that she flirts with Ross because he’s a scumbag and that it’s fun to see everyone squirm. Interesting.

Ross and Alissa hold hands on the way back to the boat – I wouldn’t be surprised if Ross was so drunk he didn’t even realize he was doing it – and Katie decides she has it. Even Hayley is fed up with Alissa’s behavior. Don’t break the girl code, bitch! For whatever reason, Katie has an affair with Ross. Don’t be the other woman! And please don’t blame me for not blaming Ross for his discretion. He’s been in the kennel since the season premiere, but my expectations of him are dead on. I expected more from Alissa, or at least I did! Katie has developed and doesn’t seem to blame Alissa at all. She is mad at Ross and even more mad that she looks like an idiot. Though he holds hands with Alissa on the way back to the boat, Ross visits Katie’s cabin on the boat to try and…I don’t know seduce her? He doesn’t seem to succeed, but good old Bravo leaves us with a cliffhanger. Meanwhile, Alissa Fraser vents and claims her situation with Ross is uncomfortable. With all of this going on, poor Tyler and Tony are just trying to sleep! I’m mad at Alissa for acting like this, and I’m mad at Katie for being in the mood with Ross. He’s disgusting, sloppy garbage without an ounce of charm. Can we just clone Hayley to fill all the roles? That would honestly be better and a lot more entertaining.


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